The call of ambition is making my heart itch. I’m getting that craving again for newness and for growing something small into something bigger as my company’s Atlanta branch nears a key milestone that we’ve all been waiting for. The future after the milestone is one that demands perfection and the highest professionalism.
Sometimes an affable and passionate guy like me gets a little lost in stability. I’m so proficient and so willing to sort through and improve chaos and to help build and define things that when the time comes that things are well built and well defined, part of me wants to (and sometimes does) create a little chaos. I lament over this little flaw of creating chaos, probably needlessly. Hopefully, my passion and desire to get things done, my humor, and my approach to challenge is seen as a mostly very positive attribute by everyone, but I know that isn’t always true. I have been told that people of my personality type have to really fight to be perceived as a well oiled managerial or executive prospect for the next level within a larger framework. To use a metaphor, if I hold the key, my key has to fit the lock and turn the tumblers to open the door. Am I cutting my key properly?
On the bright side, new professional frameworks of my own can be created, to which I can own both key and lock. Creating a new framework takes big courage. I told a friend this week that I have a hard time wanting to risk everything for my own ideas to the point of ceasing to refine and focus them for productive use. However, I love getting behind others, helping them refine theirs. I’ve done this inside of and outside of my regular 8-5 grind. I’ve been privileged to work in some great startup companies. I’ve been privileged to know and help out a few entrepreneurs on the side. I love the build phase. I need to learn to appreciate the stable phase of a business, too.
My mind wonders:
What truly makes success? What truly makes a happy life? Perhaps I’m focused too much on the professional facet of life. As a man, I naturally gravitate toward work as my identity. Though if I look through the lens of this blog, I almost never touch the work subject.
So I say to myself: “Self – wait a second. There are several ways to become a huge success.”
We all know people who are a success at places like at church, on a stage, making art, playing sports, making a great family. The list is boundless.
I want it all. I want to be a HUGE success in all areas. One of the hardest things for me is realizing that I have to make choices, and the choices get more difficult over time. Thankfully, they get more rewarding, too.
My biggest challenges are as follows. I need to focus forward. I am always looking back. When I look back, I need to smile, but instead I lament and ruminate in the shadows. Throughout all facets of life, I’ve gotten better and better, week after week, month after month, year after year. The future is bright on all fronts. However, all too often, I scowl. I look back and think about how stupid I was or how much I could have done differently, mostly on small things that are so far gone and certainly unchangeable. Why spend time on it? Everything has turned out very well. Nobody’s perfect. Sweating the small things (and the past) really gets me in trouble and keeps me from enjoying this great life. Even though I’m very generous and thoughtful a lot of the time, I’ve thought to myself that my problem might be self centeredness, not just self-criticism. Perhaps the two go hand in hand. Focusing forward not backward is huge. Just plain focusing is part of it, too.
I leave you with the following parting thoughts.
Happiness is created. Even though it might sound lame, this all I can come up with at the end of a very reflective and busy week to cheer myself on. “Take the happiness you create and run with it, and run hard.” “Enjoy the run and take others with you”.